See yourself through my eyes
by once anon a time
Summary: A short one shot post-season 2 finale - Bellarke fluff


It had taken six months for Clarke to be ready to return. She had managed alright alone in the forest. She had coped.

She had demons that needed to be laid to rest. It was a difficult thing to forgive yourself.

It had taken five months and three weeks for Bellamy to finally give in and go looking for Clarke. He hadn't given up hope he knew she could survive. Abby hadn't spoken to him after he told her Clarke had left. Everyone thought he should have stopped her. Octavia couldn't understand why he hadn't left to find her sooner. He couldn't explain it. Not to her satisfaction anyway. Clarke needed time. She carried her burdens heavily and added to them with her own guilt. He understood. He hadn't found it easy facing the group after what they'd done; and they had done it together. But maybe it was because people expected more of Clarke that they judged her more harshly. In her absence Bellamy was the chief campaigner for understanding. Mostly they came to understand except maybe for Jasper.

Clarke had begun to wander back in the direction of Camp Jaha from where she had made her camp. It was a long trek and she would split it over several days. Having made her camp for the night after four days of constant walking Clarke shivered pulling her furs around her tightly as she contemplated her return. She thought long and hard about what it would be like to walk back in those gates and greet the people she had left, her people. After everything she'd done to get them out of Mount Weather she hoped they'd understood her decision to leave. It was never about abandonment to her. She had done what needed to be done but that didn't mean she could keep going as normal. There were many people who were only alive because of her actions but also those who were dead because of her. Not just people she couldn't save but people who had died as a direct result of her actions. She didn't know how people would react, would they see a monster? People knew Bellamy had a ruthless streak; it was what made him such a good leader but they thought Clarke was the moral one. She didn't like to think how her mother would react upon seeing her again. She didn't know if she would be angry or disappointed. She didn't want to see pity or shame in her eyes. She still couldn't fathom how she would face Jasper. She figured he would be the least pleased to see her. But Raven and Octavia? Maybe they would be pleased. And Bellamy...

Bellamy had been the one to occupy most of her thoughts during her absence. He understood. She knew that. She could never have asked him to leave with her but many a night she had craved his presence. Clarke knew she could talk to him, he would listen and not placate her. He didn't pity her. If anything he admired her, albeit reluctantly. She missed his friendship, his camaraderie, his smirk and his smile. He was good and he didn't even see it. He didn't see how good he was. If he could only see himself through her eyes he would understand that he wasn't a monster. Clarke saw his fierce protective streak that was his greatest strength and his greatest weakness. He was no saint. He had done things she didn't understand when she first came to the ground. Her mother still saw only that Bellamy. She didn't understand the man. He had the darkness to torture a man, for her, to save one of their people yet the strength to go behind enemy lines when she'd asked like she didn't care about him. If only Bellamy could see himself through Clarke's eyes he would think himself worthy. Clarke smiled ruefully as she tried to imagine what it would be like to finally see Bellamy again.

As if just thinking about him had conjured his presence Bellamy was suddenly stood in front of her. Her mouth hung open and she sat frozen to the spot. As if it was just a mirage and he might disappear she blinked twice. But he was still there. He was just as she'd remembered him as if six months was enough to erase the memory of Bellamy Blake from her brain. He stood tall his arms crossed over his chest his dark brown eyes boring into hers. The soft black curls of his hair were longer than before and dropping down over his eyes messily. Her hand twitched as she urged to sweep them aside and tuck them behind his ears. She bit her lip as she thought about how they'd parted last. She hadn't expected kissing only his cheek to leave such a lasting impression on her. But the warmth of his cheek as she'd pressed her lips to it had lit a fire in her she hadn't managed to extinguish.

He smiled again and like an infection it spread to her before she could help herself.

"You about ready to come home Princess?"

Clarke nodded without even thinking. Her reached for her hand and she stood as she took it. She kept her hand in his as she looked up to him. She was stood close to him and could feel the heat radiating off him.

"What took you so long?"

Clarke couldn't help the jibe smiling as she reached up to wind her arms around his neck and embrace him. He didn't need a second to wrap his muscular arms around her back and she stayed there her face buried in his neck. She didn't know how long they stayed stood like that but she would have been happy never to have moved. She felt safe. She felt loved. She felt at home. They didn't talk that night. They curled upon beside each other and slept in each other's arms.

Walking back into camp with Bellamy Clarke didn't feel on show. People greeted them like old friends. Bellamy had set out to bring Clarke back and he had done just that.

They didn't talk about her absence. They didn't talk about the shift in their relationship. They didn't really talk much at all. There would be time for that later. They had more pressing things on their minds.

Since her return neither Clarke nor Bellamy were leaders and they couldn't have been happier not to have the burden of power. Bellamy worked as a guard. The Arkers learned to respect him and he learned to follow orders, most of the time. Clarke worked in medical learning from her mother. She was happy to help people, heal people rather than hurt them. One by one the wounds she mended felt like she was mending the bridges she had burned.

Normal felt weird at first. Like they were surely just one stray arrow from disaster. But their truce held firm even after the missile at Ton D.C. and even after Lexa's betrayal. Slowly was remained of the 100 began to accept that life on earth wasn't doomed to be a never ending war. People were happy. Not just people, Clarke was happy. It had a lot to do with being back with her friends and family who had more forgiven her more quickly than she had forgiven herself. Even Jasper. It also had a lot to do with Bellamy. The longer she spent with him the more glimpses she caught of herself through his eyes. And the first time he held their daughter, Aurora, she felt for sure he could finally see the man she saw when she looked at him. And she knew she would always be safe with him.


End file.
